Experimenting
by SelphieSK
Summary: Falling in love is easy. But Ichigo never did. So he tries to on the first person he comes across, unwary of the mess he’s willingly stepping into. /RenjIchigo, discontinued/


Disclaimer: I don't own Bleach nor any character depicted herein.  
Summary: Falling in love is easy. But Ichigo never did. So he tries to on the first person he comes across, unwary of the mess he's willingly stepping into. RenjIchigo  
Warning: Some swearing.

* * *

**Experimenting  
**By SelphieSK

**Chapter 1**

No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't remember ever being in love with anybody.  
Nor someone being in love with him either, for that matter.

At times, times like now for instance, times when he should be concentrating on important stuff rather than on banal problems, he just couldn't help but wonder how it must feel.

Being in love.

Sure, he knew what love was about.  
"A passionate feeling of romantic desire and sexual attraction", the dictionary read.

He sure had felt sexual attraction before; hormones had gotten to him for quite a while now.  
But said attraction was quite random and primal. And sickening.  
To his supreme consternation, he once even managed to feel desire for his very own father. His body was really acting crazy at times.

But on the other hand, the "_passionate_ feeling of _romantic_ desire" meant little to him.

He couldn't see the point anyway.  
What was so great about being dependent on someone? About being jealous, over-protective, stupid, and willing to sacrifice one's own life solely for the loved one?

He really couldn't see the point.  
And still, he couldn't stop from wondering if he would be happier if he was in love.

Happier.  
What was the point in being happy, anyway?

What was the point in anything, anyway?...

Ichigo banged his forehead on the wooden desk, his spiked orange hair landing on the paper he'd been scribbling his homework on for the past ten minutes.  
A deep sigh escaped his barely parted lips, while his brown eyes stared lazily at the hardly readable letters he had been jotting on the sheet.

The entire thing needed a complete review. He had the habit of writing complete non-sense if deconcentrated.

Straightening himself up, he glanced at his watch, registering the time – half past seven pm –, before picking up his pen in order to go through the mess he had just written.

His hard-reached concentration was soon shattered by an unnerving bang at his door.

He half-turned around, staring at the door hard enough to kill the idiot whose knocking seemed somewhat rhythmic, reproducing some horribly noisy tune.

"Get lost!" Ichigo finally yelled, slightly disappointed that his staring had no effect what so ever.

The banging stopped.  
Ichigo smiled in satisfaction, turning around again to face his homework, only to startle at the abrupt sound of his door being flung open.

He was pretty sure he had locked it.

Ichigo once again turned around, his questioning eyes meeting with the narrow ones of his visitor.

"No door resists my charms," the red-haired man said, a huge satisfied smile plastered on his tanned face.

"I can see that," Ichiro stated absent-mindedly, getting up from his chair, walking towards the entrance of his room, inspecting the wood panel, wondering how the Shinigami had succeeded in unlocking it without breaking it down, nor having a spare key.

"I'm not disturbing you am I?" asked Renji, staring at the orange-haired adolescent, who was holding the knob of the door, seemingly ready to slam it at the older man's face.

"Just make it quick will ya," came the apathetic answer.

Renji raised an eyebrow, counted mentally to three before letting himself in Ichigo's bedroom.

"I don't remember telling you to come in.  
- Man, you sure are aggressive today. Period time or somethin'?  
- Very funny," Ichigo said, closing the door then leant against it, watching vaguely as Renji seated himself on his bed.

Ten seconds of nothing passed. Ichigo just stood there, his back pressed against the wooden door, his unfocused eyes staring at the distance. His head ached as he tried to stop reflecting on stupid concepts of life, the kind that says that a normal being should be in love, have sex, kids, then die.

He had the right not to do any of those things, except the latter, which he certainly couldn't avoid. The problem was more about _not_ being capable of doing one of them, though.

Love.

That word would eventually make him puke.

What was the matter with him?  
Did he lack something essential?  
Was he frigid? Did he need to visit a shrink?

"Oi, kid. You listenin' at all?"

Ichigo blinked.  
"Huh?"

Legs spread, hands on his knees, Renji was gazing intently at him, as if trying to uncover the reason behind Ichigo's total lack of attention.  
"I just asked you whether or not…"

But the boy couldn't focus on the words spoken by the older Shinigami. Instead, he promptly resumed his trail of thoughts.

If he had never fallen in love with anyone, maybe that simply was because he never took time to just _look_ at people. He never seemed to care, always had trouble remembering faces and names, because he simply didn't give a damn about them. The only ones he seemed to care for were his immediate relatives, or close friends; but he never was interested into knowing them deeper, though.

Renji was a perfect example. Now that Ichigo took time to observe him, he realized he had missed many details that were not that unimportant. For instance, he had never noticed what incoherent clothes the older Shinigami wore while in his gigai: violet t-shirt, green vest, dark trousers where sprayed cuts let some tanned skin peer through. His necklace, which consisted in a black stray and a silver ring, shone quietly under the artificial yellow light, while his narrow, incredibly expressive onyx eyes seemed to bore holes in his body.

"Kid, I'm kinda gettin' tired, speakin' to the walls," Renji finally spoke, sighing. "If you won't listen, I get the hell outta here."

Ichigo suddenly shivered, feeling heat invading his now crimson cheeks.

"You sick or something?" Renji asked, half-frowning.

Ichigo's stomach felt funny. Like it did when he would get on roller coasters with Yuzu or Karin.  
"Huh… I'm fine.  
- Fine?" The red-haired man shook his head, still comfortably seated on Ichigo's bed. "You don't listen, you shiver, you turn red… You're not fine.  
- I am! Why would you care anyway?" Ichigo snapped, trying to ignore his heart's quickened beats all the while. "Mind your own business!"

Abarai's features somewhat darkened as he leapt off the bed, disarraying it in the process:  
"I would," he almost yelled, "if you had listened to a damn thing I said! Who do you think you are, ignoring me!?  
- If you're not happy about it, you can just fuck off!" Ichigo shouted, waving a threatening clenched fist in front of his own face.

Yeah, right, exactly, that was a great idea. Hitting that fool Renji would certainly put an unfaltering stop to his incoherent wonderings about how sweet his red hair would smell, or how soft his bronzed skin would feel against his own fingers, and how…

"Watch your mouth, brat!"  
Renji made a few steps forward, avoided the fierce blow Ichigo subconsciously intended to land on his head, took a hold of the boy's collar, and screamed at his face:  
"Now you shut up and listen!"

He shook him a few times, attempting to calm Ichigo down in the process, but it only seemed to exacerbate his aggressiveness.

"I won't listen to your crap anytime soon!" he claimed loudly, and was about to add some insults but abruptly shut up instead, his eyes widening as Renji yanked him closer.

Their noses touched; Ichigo didn't even notice the irritation showing through the Shinigami's dark anger-narrowed eyes, solely focusing on the tickling at the tip of his nose, and on the odd warm feeling that slowly invaded his entire being.

All anger suddenly faded, and for the first time in days, he felt good.

"What's so funny?"

Ichigo blinked, not knowing what Renji was talking about, the man's warm breath tickling his lips and chin.  
Then he realised he was smiling for no reason.  
"…Nothing."

Renji stared into his brown eyes for a few seconds. He eventually clicked his tongue, letting go of the adolescent's now crumpled collar.  
"You ready to listen now?"

Taken aback by his own incomprehensible reactions, Ichigo couldn't think of anything to answer. Renji took his silence for a yes and started, arms crossed:  
"Rukia's moving out. She'll be stayin' at Urahara's shop from now on." His eyes glued to the floor, he marked a pause, looking reluctant for some reason. "And I'll be stayin' at your place in the mean time."

Ichigo just blinked.

Renji taped on the floor with his left booted foot for a while, obviously unwilling to make eye contact with the adolescent.  
"It's not like I _want_ to stay at your place anyway. But Urahara's not really keen on me. Not that I like him either. That egoistic lazy fool."

He kept on grumbling to himself, not daring to look up at Ichigo's face, who he supposed was about to shout something like : 'Hell no! No way! You're so not staying at my place!' and such.

So he could barely hide his bewilderment when the orange-haired boy spoke, a weird smile playing on his thin lips:

"I don't mind."

* * *

A/N : Look at the time… It's 2 in the morning, I haven't had dinner yet and I uh… _snore  
_Please review! Thanks a bunch! 8) 


End file.
